that was a gay-test. you passed.
with flying rainbow colors i hope!
I'm in my boyfriends bathroom and I shit so bad, there was no toilet paper but his mom's clothes were on the floor and I wiped my butt on her underwear... now it looks like she sharted
U owe me five dollars for that paper towel you bet i wouldnt eat last night
Ask him about a girl named Meg then give a disappointed and disapproving face.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There's a guy in here whose face looks like it would be perfect between my legs.
so the x-ray technician didnt buy my story of falling off a curb. she said a fall of that height couldnt snap the bone that way. bitch called me a drunken idiot too. if she wasnt so hot i'd be angry
Talked to Nate, told him he was a douche. Will give details when sober. It's ok. You're my best friend together a wolf pack. Olive juice.
Just had the best idea EVER: start a mead brewing/dispensery business! WE CAN BREW IT IN MY GIANT CLOSET, AND NEVER BE SOBER AGAIN.
I fill condoms, not promises.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Sometimes i like to think we arent living together next year and that im living with models that like to experiment but you ruin that fantasy time and time again
I'm pretty sure I just need an IV drip of Plan B at this point...
When was the last time you wore pants?
Time is relative.
And pants are optional.
Can we smoke pot out of a menorah?
if i get arrested im counting on you to get a picture of it
After passing out at the kitchen table, you woke up in my parents bed in between them. With no pants on.
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