She's NOT homeless...she graduated early.
I woke up naked this morning there was a baseball bat on the floor the bathroom door knob was removed and the floor was wet. This is why i don't do Tequila shots.
you don't seem to understand just how much pasta i spilled on my bed last night.
Every time I remember you're bi, the world gets a little brighter.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just had a flashback of you announcing "your nipples aren't that big for the size of your boobs, I've seen them"
you inspire me to be a worse person
I would literally rather jam a rusty rail road spike into my cock than be here right now. The whore showed up and now I might smash my iPhone into my face repeatedly until I'm no longer consisting of any sort of life.
Why can't I live in a world where my only 2 options are rum bikini hot tub party or masturbating?
I'm scared to see what happens if we keep winning like this. I don't think there enough livers for every one after the season is over.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
151 hangover. Need apocalypse.
Is it weird that the cop that arrested me called me twice to tell me that I left my ring at the police station
We were on a plane, I couldn't just grab his dick
Would you paint my ceiling for oral sex?
I JUST FARTED SO LOUD AND HARD I IMMEDIATELY TASTED IT
Probably some sort of karmic revenge for me looking at titties somewhere along the way
and for that you shall suffer
God: I won't strike you down, but I shall introduce your child to Doja Cat during a quarantine
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