Thanks again for letting me crash last nite. Sorry I banged your little brother.
i'm going to be one of those im-wearing-a-shirt-as-a-dress girls today. dont make fun of me, i need laid
This girls a $30 bar tab from being bi
she was so "full of love" from watching twilight that she came over and gave me a handjob. when does the next movie come out?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I hope his life after cheating on me is as good as Tiger's golf game is these days.
You were walking around with a baby carrier pretending your vodka was a baby. You tried to get pictures on santas lap
Chasing shots by shotgunning beers is not a good idea.
What ever happened to the whole 'innocent until proven guilty' thing. Like 'not pregnant until proven pregnant'. That's how it should be...
You put your name in his phone but not your number then screamed "Open the door!" and jumped out of the car
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He looks like he's going to feed me a taco and then stab me. It's probably a good idea he's a lawyer
Sent nudes to my best friend's boyfriend and mom last night. So I'm coping with that on top of my hangover this morning
my whole checking account just had a funeral down bourban street, paid for that, and then bought everyone 5 shots of fireball...
I finished OITNB and broke it off with my fuck buddy in the same day. It's going to be a rough week
Uhm I have a bottle of tequila, a gallon of orange juice, and leggings. Now ask me again how hard im going? And that doesn't cover tomorrow.
I taught three men with PhDs how to make a gravity bong last night. I love academia.
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