Bar closing I am hiding in the bathroom. do you think anyone will find me?
what day is it and did you see me today?
Either seal the deal or get out of the room, I don't want to hide in this closet anymore
i just walked downstairs to find my brother wearing a crossingguards vest and boxers. when i asked him where he got it he just looked at me, smiled, and kept feeding the dog yogurt
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It's not slutty if it's for workout purposes...right?
I really don't want to. I just don't know how to nicely say "dude I'm having a rough time in life right now and I just need to dress like a stripper cop, get shit faced, and have dirty crazy sex"
They won't let us do straight shots of 151 since that guy lit his face on fire.
She was purple for Halloween. She literally spray-painted herself purple and called it a costume. It won't come off.
WTF DUDE?
Stay calm. I'm sure there's a heterosexual explanation for this
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I think it really helped to be hungover at accepted students day. it gave me a good feel for how it would be everyday if I go there.
No it's ok I've been talking to the girl at the Chinese restaurant about your dick for the last 20 minutes. I haven't mentioned your name but she thinks she knows you.
I'M SO LONELY THAT I TEXTED THE FRESHMAN
I only had ten dollars. So leave it to Katie to somehow makeout with the bartender, on his shift mind you, and get free drinks.
WHEN THE HELL DOES ANYTHING IN OUR LIVES *EVER* GO AS PLANNED???
I mean, if I asked you, would you cum on cotton candy for me?
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