I wouldn't necessarily call it an addiction, more of a passion. I'm habitually passionate.
You NEED to get fingered by a violinist. He used his left hand and make me cum, he's RIGHT handed.
I have no idea. Next thing I know we're all down on one knee saying the pledge of allegiance and then singing I'm Proud to be an American. Then Trevor ate pizza off the sidewalk.
Apparently I was trying to convince him Springsteen has had buttsex. I ended the argument with "I bet he came from it too."
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
No, but I woke up here and my pockets are full of raisins. Like 6 different pockets.
Dude, I had no choice. I was defending my genitals.
I may have had sex with him and told him we wasn't worth my time then went home and made mashed potatoes
I've found my spirit animal. I'm a Snapple bottle. If you take my top off I'll tell you a fact about science.
Worse: texted mom-in-law by mistake that I sharted.
Worser: she offered to clean me up
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I fucked my ex boyfriend to get shrooms for you guys
That's the sweetest thing I've ever heard
He told me he was gonna go wash a trailer and somehow I ended up eating vodka fruit with children in a green bean field.
You asked to borrow my glasses for a moment. Then you whipped them at someone's head.
tinder day one and i already had more guys message me about "the girl with the big tits in my second picture" than about me. MY 17 YEAR OLD SISTER CAN GET LAID WITHOUT EVEN HAVING TO MAKING A PROFILE
to be fair she does have a great rack
I just watched a magician wearing a fedora deep throat a balloon\n
I really love you. Like, more than tequila...& we both know that's my favorite.
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