he just watched a baby story on tlc while high and just called me screaming he never wants me to get pregnant
then he said we can't have sex anymore because ill hate him.
Jason Williams (yeah the ex-nets center...) drunkenly told me that, while drinking, I should take an ambien and a cialis before i go home...that will "give me a 25 minute window to have sex and then goto sleep before the bitch starts bothering me"....
I convinced her last night that my actual nickname was "No Condom John"
i'm smoking hookah in a kayak. how did this happen.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There's a girl in my class named "La-a" pronouced "Luh Dash uh" I hate everyone
maybe it wasnt such a good idea to pregame our lease signing...
Heated debate on which is worse. Pissing your pants or puking all over yourself
I found your bra. How you get it off the satellite dish is your problem.
I hate cuddling. I also hate when people breathe. Which he did, a lot. So he can go to hell.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He always takes me to get taco bell after we hook up in his car. It's sort of become a booty call tradition.
How many stacks you been grindin gangsta?
omg mom no
It's so blood brotha crip what be good
We're like adult pinky and the brain when they decided that taking over the world is unrealistic so they aim lower by trying to get drunk every day.
My mom is currently out with her lesbian friends and I'm home alone drunk listening to the Les Miserables soundtrack. WHY DO I FEEL THE NEED TO COMPETE WITH HER?
My walk of shame was four miles long and I had to stop for a water break. I am the picture of class.
He was so energetic. It was like screwing a bunny.
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