i watch way too much csi for them to even pretend to be my friend.
He was telling me how the song fireflies makes him feel like he can talk to animals
Just saw a denim jacket with the phrase christian cowboy...ridin with the lord under a picture of a cowboy in a sunset. I'm def in mississippi.
She said her tits were too big, and he slapped her. He said that Jesus didn't appreciate bitches that fish for compliments
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I need $500 dollars more than I need a night of dignity... I gonna do it.
I was just expressing concern for your pickle consumption.
The police woke me up so they had no choice but to see my morning wood.
The thing i'm gunna miss the most about college is peeing while brushing my teeth in the shower without being judged. You just can't do that anywhere else
We can't BOTH have terrible sex lives. Get fucked or throw him out.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I found out that rock climbing and alcohol does not go together. Ask my broken arm.
I almost took a picture but it looked like he might have a shank and I'm just not at a place in my life where I could handle having tetanus
All I found in my purse this morning was 160 cigarettes and a fistful of confetti.
he left a full can of coors light underneath my windshield wiper, like a love note. if that's not husband material, i don't know what is
They said you went back in for 30 minutes and were walking with your arms out like an eagle soaring
YOU ATE THE FUCKING GOLDFISH!?
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