Life's too short to consider the larger psychological underpinnings of my lust.
hand shaped bruises on both boobs again....i wish i could say this is the first time.
my drunken justification for peeing in her closet was that her shoes were ugly
Did I really just find a cheez- it box full of condoms in your room?
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You're just horny.
Yea, and? I appreciate you as a person too if that helps.
Dude, you chugged an entire bottle of tomato sauce and got us free drinks for the night. No way was I gonna stop you.
Just so you know, a 6'7" tall gay man, with a martini in one hand and a fairy wand in the other, is not a force to be reckoned with...don't ask.
I wore a bird inflatable and still got laid. So there's that.
Hey, I'm renting a storage locker for the summer to keep all my bondage shit in so my parents don't see it. You wanna split on it for your all your weed shit?
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You were spooning an empty magnum of white wine in the middle of the bed so I slept on the couch
Well at least there's no more confusion about your place in my life. Wine > pizza > your dick > the rest of you.
Love you...
I thought you couldn't go near Germans after that restraining order
Like I don't care that he's a drug dealer, but I have a problem with his inefficient and ineffective business model.
4 pharmacies and not one had Plan B. If this is gods way of telling me it's time for a child, he can fuck off.
I would like to reiterate that I went to give lessons and ended up having a three way instead
I feel so accomplished. I've cleaned my room, done laundry, called those places, gotten jobs, and masturbated.
I'm so proud of you.
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