he believed the zit on my nose was a piercing...until he tried to bite it. needless to say he didnt ask for my number
it was so cute when you were pretending to have willpower
Im watching someone hooking up in the library
procrastination at its finest
when I woke up I found a half-eaten cherry toaster strudel sandwich with bacon in the middle.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
sooo....i just remembered that someone fed me a pretzel out of their purse at the bar last night.
Oh we will ALWAYS be together. Or I'll have to delete my Facebook altogether. I've drunkenly boobie trapped photos of us into every album. There's no way I'd ever have the patience to go through that deletion process.
Oh wait looks like my cousin is getting deported THERE'S HOPE FOR THIS CHRISTMAS YET
"It's not a date, we're just spending the entire day at a concert and then getting high together." Awesome.
You have found the Promised Land of friend zones
My main goal for tomorrow night is to make it back into my own bed
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So lets not base feelings on vagina tingles
I wasn't that gone.
Dude, you cried and said how sorry you were when we asked why you had the dip.
She said she hasn't cheated on me in 7 and a half days and she'd like praise for that.
I think I should write my liver a thank you note. If it had my work ethic, I would be dead now.
Dont care about too tired for sex, thank you for leaving your laser pointer. I have now determined both my cats are stupid.
My parents left me the house for the weekend...you know what that means?!
Harry Potter marathon and no pants.
Randomize