Is this a definitive no? All is forlorn? Such is fine, but i'm drunk and a sucker for concrete answers
So he says "lean over this" which is a chain across the doorway, held into the wall with bolts. I do. Then he puts his weight on top of me to try and get it in.
It breaks. We fall.
I now have a broken nose, a concussion, and an infected, split lip. Why do I have the worst luck in guys?
The walk of shame is far, far worse on crutches.
Then he told me he was 40. I'm not sure if I have enough Daddy issues to go for it
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I was high fiving everyone. I even high fived with the wall for doing such a good job suporting the ceiling and keeping us alive.
Did you find any other hidden treasures in my room? Specifically weed? Or Slim Jims?
I knew as soon as he opened a beer with his teeth to shotgun it that I was going to sleep with him. I'm never going home.
I'm not having the "why are your fucking my daughter" talk and the "your a drug addict" talk with your mom tonight.
I left for five minutes and Chris wound up half in women's clothes, half naked. And the naked half was covered in shamrock stickers.
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the other day i was so high i found pages and pages of pictures of HD hamburgers and patriotic music. bong rips for merica.
Son of a bitch took my liquid eyeliner
Btw I have come to the conclusion that we really need to do it in a bed. Like at least once..
Next time you decide to go downstairs hungover, please warn me. I now have to explain to twenty eight year olds why you were naked.
I never said it was inaccurate, I said I hate you.
Psssh like you wouldn't lick BBQ sauce off my nipples.
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