I'm so over stopping myself from talking about my sexual experiences in front of children.
If you know any fat girls who would pay me for sex, I am low on money and morals right now
That's what you get for fucking someone nicknamed "wiggle worm"
It's now 3:30 and the guy I went home with is showering me with shredded cheese. Nbd.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Grilled cheese and whiskey for lunch is why i should NEVER be a housewife.
I am on a roof. I'm not sure which one, or why, or how, but I am on a roof and you should come get me. I can see info classrooms!
My booty call just moved 2 min from my house
This has pregnancy written all over it
You're dating a nurse! That's smart, you never know when you'll have a medical emergency. Probably liver failure.
he's like a horny 3rd grader on cocaine. he needs a leash
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He tried to tell me that that stripper was his aunt..
I would just like to point out that a bandaid led to sex. The lesson here is always have a bandaid in your wallet.
Guy fieri is speaking only to me. We make eye contact. My whole body is vibrating. My head is purring. I am literally marbles.
Status: mom bitching about grandma not shutting the fuck up, while not shutting the fuck up. Dear Jesus give me strength or more bourbon.
He accepted my bet of 5 bucks to bike home completely naked. Never got asked about the 5 bucks, guess he enjoyed it too much
Clothing is a burden necessitated by propriety.
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