My wife all of the sudden got markedly better at giving blow jobs. Should I be happy or concerned?
Dude someone is playing the piano in the other room while I shit and it's making it really peaceful
The tornado sirens were going off and everyone just ran to the liquor store. .
Now he's lighting his socks on fire
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just want to jump into a ballpool of dicks now.
No need to call an exterminator, the ants overdosed on the leftover lines on the counter.
Maybe I'll make your dreams come true and pee on you tomorrow.
Made it just outside my dorm and yack on the front dirt. Wave to a dad thats staring, continue on my way.
Do you remember ripping my condom off last night while yelling "I DEMAND MY MEAT RAW" like a Viking?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
When the strippers start dancing to Christmas songs it's time to get the fuck out!
I want you to get off the plane and get directly into my pants
No alcohol sales on Election Day. WTF? Today, of all days, I need to be splurged to to vote for any of these morons running for president.
I'm not talking about Donald Trump in the midst of sending you nudes
Whoever said it shouldn't take a man to make you happy clearly wasn't having sex everyday.
I came home in someone else's underwear this morning
Atleast you got a souvenir
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