Sometimes, dog treats look like people treats.
wow... just woke up to find out that the OJ we used in my bong last night was poured back into the carton
She told me that she faked her orgasm. Does she think I care??
we just stared at taco bell's menu on the website for 2 hours
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Who was more unwelcome: The two of us at the party last night, or Kimmy Gibler at the Tanner residence?
Just saw a commercial bout this girl that lost 54 lbs on a taco bell diet. so thats my excuse.
My parole officer gave me condoms and a Starbucks gift card ... happy holidays.
theres a wall by my room thats like, a prime fucking wall. before i move out SOMEBODY is gonna fuck me on that wall, goddamnit.
you can't wake me up at 4am to suck your dick and then give me a high five at the bar
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
she bonged a coffee cause she was hungover. then she bonged a beer cause she got ambitious. then she barfed. then she had to start over again.
The police report said that there were 25 cases of bud light, two hookers fighting in the street, 13 cop cars, and two road blocks, a kid got tazered, another got maced, and over a hundred people in the house
So that means its a bad thing that your dad found it huh?
i formally give you permission to eat me when i pass out
Just remember that I named his dick Robo-cock before he got into the sheriff's department.
and i do believe that will be the last time you send me a photograph of our mother in her underwear.
also, am i correct in guessing that advertising the size of my hypothetical penis is a turnoff to him?
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