watching a depressing episode of spongebob while high is the most depressing thing i have ever experienced
so, on facebook you can become a fan of butt sex, and also premarital sex, but not premarital butt sex, which is what I was aiming for.
im at that stage where all she has to do is cough or something and it pisses me off
i knew i liked her after she chugged tequila, fell down the stairs and said "oh dont worry i knew it'd be faster this way"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
how the hell did u puke all over the magazines... do u still want me to keep them
im not sure if this headache is from the car accident or cocaine withdrawl
I'm sure it was awkward. I've never had a professor expose parts of them to me before.
Almost told my boss I was an expert aat swallowing when he questioned my ability to take excedrin,xanax, and a vitamin all at once. It was a medicinal gang bang lubricated by arizona tea.
Last night I texted her to confirm she could start designing costumes for my show this week.
That is one convoluted booty call.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Every girl my sister has brought home from college I've had sex with, check and mate motherfucker
Doap. Just bring some lube and a slingshot. Not sure y we need the slingshot.
The cop said he like my hair today. Please explain all other interactions with law enforcement, k thanks
i just used a selfie stick to take an ass pic. i hate myself.
Well. Another one of my exes came out of the closet.
I'm fucked-out. That state of being high between fucked up and passed out.
Randomize