If you get a breast reduction, you have to let me see them before hand at least once. It's a rule.
I saw a seagull swallow a hot-dog whole today, it reminded me of you.
i don't even want to say how many boners i've caused this week
You were petting your shoe and saying this makes me really happy
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Question: Would it be wrong to just fuck both of them and decide who to date one performance of their cocks?
You do realize that we bought beer at 9:30 in the morning to avoid sobering up. Stupidity was bound to follow.
I told him i wanted to be exclusively cheating with him
I am listening to lecture and I can hear us in the background talking about anal beads.
Listening to Whitney Houston sing the National Anthem while I shit before going out tonight. America.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The first thing we did this morning was see if we could see her barf in the prking lot from the roof. We could. It was in 5 spaces.
She put a shot in my mouth and then hit me with a pillow..
I'm sitting in the shotgun seat of my car on full recline trying to pretend everything is ok
You are the best. Or certainly adequate for tempering my unholy desires.
That's the nicest thing you've ever said to me.
Well statistically J has a 1 in 3 chance of hospitalization when downtown
And a 3 for 3 for disapeearing
Does the girl you just banged want anything from Taco Bell?
Randomize