and the mascot is a pinecone. its really no surprise that people here dont get laid
Last night I ate the rest of the salsa with my hands. And i DONT have a hangover? Glorious.
so just incase I die tonight I'm making a list of people that I don't want to be let in to my funeral
I wonder what gingers are like in bed...as awkward as their hair or just as unique as it...?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I knew we were gonna fuck after she told me she's seen that Porno before
It was the gentlest way I could hit on a girl who just got hit by a car
there's a guy pushing a keg up the street in a shopping cart. you have to love graduation
It's 6 am and I've spent the last few hours searching for a cork screw or suitable substitute. You had none. Incidentally, I finally opened this bottle of wine, but owe you a new meat sticky thing with those two prongs. Sobriety is not good for me. Or your utensils.
He was uncircumcised
It was like inception. A penis within a penis within a penis
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
official rule: if your drunk, it doesn't count
then nothing in my life counts
Then you better bring Starbucks and a box of condoms in the morning.
Oh shit. This is getting real.
I might have been the first person in 2015 to throw up on a yellow cab before climbing in it.
Nah, i wasn't offended. Having a bridesmaid who you had had multiple threesomes with your future husband would be weird.
I just typed "I've got a friend" and my phone autocompletes to "that's a dick appointment". What is my life.
My professor congratulated me on turning my assignment in early. I didn't have the heart to tell him I only passed it in early cause my sex plans got canceled for the night.
Randomize