Weird. Haha. I guess taking advice from batman is a good idea.
I was also standing on my bed with a road cone pounding on the ceiling at 3am. Not sure why
Being the adderall dealer on campus, I feel responsible for everyone graduating.
I most definitely just found a video on my phone that I accidentally took... You can't see anything and all you can hear is me talking about how good your water was... And then I fed it to you... And used the word "eloquent" to describe it.
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I'm such a good drunk match marker. You single, you single... Drunk friend meet single boy. BOOM illegitimate baby made!
I just threw up vodka and hot dogs in a handicapped stall with someone in it who couldn't make me leave because he couldn't walk.
The man was doing everything in his power to get away from his wife, including go into the gay club.
I came to the conclusion that Tinder and having the day off are not good for my relationship.
I wish I could have a tequila IV with me all the time. Intravenous tequila intoxication.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think "we've never met sober" is a great relationship to have with someone
Sensing a theme here
If alcoholism is a theme, yes.
He came back with a Butterfinger and vibrator batteries. There's no refusing him now.
So, if you eat too many protein bars, you will shit your pants. This I learnt today..... at work.
my extended weekend of being as irresponsible as possible started with blowing the bartender in the bar bathroom. off to a good start.
I'm killing it this week, I've peed my pants and put my vibrator into the washing machine.
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