I can't belive they dont sell booze Sunday mornings. I mean some of us have to work
I hope my sperm were as drunk as I was.
this year's halloween challenge: make audrey hepburn go from classy to slutty drunk
i would bitch about being this hungover, but honestly im just happy to be alive after this weekend
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There are fucking limits. Jerking another guy off in the bar toes the line.
My dick can't jump between your dick and her mouth, man. It's impossible, I think.
You know, you have a good excuse now if you have a poor performance. Just say "what do you expect? I took a paintball to the DICK!!"
I can get stoned and we can bake and then I can eat 70% of it and it will be awesome
Best part about a crippling state-wide drought? Actually having a valid excuse for not showering
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Thought about it. I'm gonna go to work, but I'm gonna tell them I wrestled a bear saying I fell just isn't working.
pretty sure I woke up to him jacking himself off IN MY BED
I'm trying to find a fanny pack so I can bring pizza on my run
While he was fucking me, he just stopped and said, "Mike says Hi." Then proceeded to fuck me.
What did you do?
What do you say to that!? But, when I came, I screamed out my full name.
I banged a marine last night. No wonder everybody respects them.
It's like Guy Diamond blew glitter into my vagina.
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