You're the host. Of course you wear the diaper. It's like wearing the pants.
I woke up with ten beers in my bag that hoarded at the party last night. Rally? Its five somewhere.
the only plus side is that now I'll be able to tell my son not to trust the condoms that his college gives away..........
Dude it was weird. The strippers vagina tasted kind of like your mother's.
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Found our threesome girl. She says I'm pretty. She doesn't know I'm pregnant. Yet. Think we can pull it off?
Once he blows his load, he's more of an immediate flight risk than that jetBlue pilot. He's out the door before his cum is out of my vajayjay.
Unless you're gonna start buying my underwear, you have got to stop ripping it off of me.
I said "I am wrapped in the Cocoon Of Comfort! You should go." He started to argue and I yelled "COCOON OF COMFORT!!!" silencing him
I was just like oh sorry I'm peeling meanwhile my legs are on either side of his head and I look like a fucking Komodo dragon
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Two big black bouncers picked you up and escorted you to the elevator.
I didn't even do anything wrong. For all they knew I could have been on the US Olympic Gymnastic team. Would they kick Gabby Douglas out of a bar? I don't think so.
I feel like you're the reason public nudity is illegal and generally frowned upon in society
I seriously doubt this is the first time pumpkin pie has led to a booty call.
I remember walking into a bathroom stall that had a couple fucking in it and giving them a condom and a thumbs up and then leaving
I want you to worship my cock.
That's not how you start a conversation.
God does not give you boobs that amazing to not share them with your friends
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