Once you see the odd facial expressions and noises a guy makes while he is furiously beating off on top of you, it kind of puts things into perspective.
My professor really needs to stop abbreviating. I'll never remember what "Fun. Anal. Trade-offs?" means when i study.
You said "sustain yourself" quietly over and over as you fed joeys hamster cashews. Acid you is a trip
You thought your socks were broken. They were just inside out.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm stealing this baby.
Well I always support illegal activity but where would you put it?
I got drunken sympathy for the whales' plight last night and signed up to give $50 monthly to Greenpeace. Calling to cancel was worse than the hangover.
Hear that? That's the wail of a dying whale. Murderer.
Never thought I'd say this but the maple syrup flavored vodka probably wasn't our best idea
Black out Jordan is making huge strides. I didn't even pee on anyone or anything last night.
Sometimes I think he has a hidden camera in my vagina so he knows what I'm doing and saying at all times...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Sorry I yelled at you and called you Amish and puked on your eggs
Yeah well, last time I said I wasn't having a big night I was being strangled in somebody's spare bed
I just tripped over a but plug that was on the floor. It's 430 in the morning
The boob job was worth every penny just to see the expression of pure joy on his face the first time he saw them.
I'm really stressed out right now.
I think you're confusing "stressed" and "sober".
Sextember may be over, but Cocktober is just beginning!!!
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