i'm not a human right now. not even a dancer.
I am like king midas for the gay community. everything I touch turns into a lesbian.
i licked the inside of a toilet bowl for $14. i really can't talk about my night.
We woke up, fucked twice, she drank 3 warm heinekins to cure her hangover and said "Im glad you're still hott when im sober"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Why am I the only one concerned that there's a dog in the movie theatre?
explain the broken jalepenos in my underwear drawer?
We were all definitely blackout with drunk goggles on, even though you and Amanda were the only ones dressed up as it.
I've come to the conclusion that the dicks in Arizona just don't have enough size for me.
I found him on the floor in the kitchen eating cheese and tomato. I mean a block of cheese and whole tomatoes, he was alternating. Thats why your cheese has teeth marks.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
When i sexted him a pic of my boobs I was worried he was going to notice the dorito crumbs and know I was just eating topless
Just got discharged from the hospital after getting my finger stitched back together don't you dare say you had a worse night than me
I just ran your car into a ups truck....but on a up note I have a handle of fireball and breakfast burritos
Dude it's 6 am and you just invited me to a hotel with a shit ton of coke. Best morning ever
She was blacked out on the couch MASTURBATING and whispering to her boyfriend...who wasn't there. I yelled her name and she didn't even pause.
Legit hope my Trump humping Brother dies of this shit so I can stop pretending to still love him.
Randomize