Someone wrote that you're a whore in one of the bathroom stalls
I didn't know I was popular enough to be hated. This is awesome
You were in the bathroom for two hours practicing "Revenge Faces".
Trying to figure out if I'm the second dude she hooked up with yesterday. I feel like a consolation prize
Hey. Me and my buddy are drunk. you wanna give us tattoos of the hawaiian punch guy we shall pay very well. Seriously dude. no bull shit.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
only thing in my fruit bowl is 4 champagne corks and a jenga piece . Tuesday.
The most humiliating part was that I farted while he was tasing me.
Just woke up from a first date on the futon watching Arrested Development by myself, him cuddling another chick in his room. Simultaneously the best and worst one night stand in history.
Bonus: took me 2 hours to get home on the streetcar cause I spent my cab money on drinks for his friend last night.
we're all going for beer and wings at 7. inflate your girlfriend and bring her along too.
You are under a naked attack watch for the whole weekend. Shelter in place.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Fuck I forgot the furry convention was this weekend and now I'm downtown. Way too high for this shit.
It's shark week go big or go home
Is there a tactful way to ask "how are your balls?" Or do I just ask point blank
If walking through the neighborhood with a bottle of tequila and margarita mix is postgrad life, I'm okay with it
He showed up in a Prius. I didn’t even wanna.... So I left.
CTFD. There’s plenty of dick in the sea! This is Vegas, we import dick. \nWorst case scenario we get a rental penis
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