I'm fucking your sister right now.
You motherfucker
She's next.
i had just passed the point of no return when my mom opened my door. I hid my dick and took the porn off the computer in time but i still had to explain my day at school to her WHILE i was jizzing in my pants.
One of the cleaning ladies on my floor just screamed from the bathroom
As soon as he lost the election, the reception's open bar became a cash bar. I have never been so disappointed in my countrymen.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he just made me youtube cheetahs running and he thinks he is in a pool
I doubt were getting our security deposit back... the toilet just fell off the wall
No. And Marissa said shitting in the handicap bathroom at work does not get you into the club. You have to shit yourself. She said.
On campus. Grown men in women's sexy bee costumes. Complete with legwarmers. This cannot be real life.
I tried to get you something for Valentine's Day too but they said they couldn't deliver skittles and ecstasy :(
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Got home last night and found a Big Mac in the shower, tampons all over the place, and two pairs of your panties on the front porch.
you got drunk, told him he looked like shaggy and said 'I wouldn't show you my mystery machine for all the scooby snacks in the world'
Trust me.. Might look gay.. Might feel gay... But I could snap your neck with my inside thighs bro
You need a new phone. When you talk it sounds like the teacher from Peanuts while she's trying to give a blowjob.
I can’t shake the image of her gigantic black unibrow. It’s like I got a blowie from Eugene Levy
It's like the perfect sandwich, once you find it you want to ensure your future access to it.
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