we sang an acapella version of barbara ann to his voicemail...i'm not drinking again until tuesday.
you kept begging me not to tell anyone you had been a bat in another life
He was actually able to throw up in the bucket from the top bunk. im impressed.
im contemplating emailing my dad and telling him how worthless i am and how sorry i am that he pays for my life...aka my bar tabs.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She had a little wicker basket of condoms by her bed. Disturbing yet convenient.
Woke up this morning with a note saying "great sex, see you never". Why can't I meet more women like her?
I just googled if crying burns calories
The perfect world is just rainbows and rocknroll and good sex. With the occasional stripper ridIng a horse. I spelled occasionally right?
Hey start looking around for a low rider Subaru. Well get a loan. It will be capital for our first music video.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Awareness is good for change and all, but ignorance is bliss. I like bliss.
my whole wardrobe smells like substance abuse
I'm sorry your Amazon says buttplugs now
A stranger came up to me, pointed at my drink and asked what it tasted like and proceeded to chug half of it and then walked away.
i can eat my weight in tater tots. don't test me, bitch
My fuck it list is complete! I finally got a firefighter!
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