I apparently tried to stop my spending of money by sealing the top of my wallet with gum
i asked if you wanted help changing your sheets after you threw up in bed. you politely declined. i take no responsibility after that.
marshmallow pipe was a success. so was melon pipe. come try it
i wish i had a super power and that that super power was shooting out mdma from my fingertips or something
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's called the eyeliner-blowjob correlation, read a science book bro
Clearly my hormones are sending beaming lights to every penis in the area
I say go for the trifecta and maybe you'll get a medal or something. Or a baby. That's like the same thing right?
Last night at McDonalds, you lied across the counter, pulled up your shirt and yelled "BODY SHOTS"...
in honor of breaking bad starting soon, i am now banging a walter white lookalike. viva heisenberg!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Literally just had a girl put her street name into my phone. Yeah.
Haha ohman remember when I peed in your blender? Gotta love college.
YOU DID WHAT???
He jizzed all over my ID badge. HR is gonna be pissed...
At the end of the night i was really thirsty and tied to a bedpost
He is a beautiful butterfly covered in tattoos and naked.
last night I mixed vodka in with my protein shake... and you tell me my new years resolution was impossible
Randomize