That glade motion activator thing keeps going off every time we pass the bong. I don't know what I'm getting high off right now.
i dont care how hungover you are, go back to the frat house and get him. HE IS 11.
She texted her brother about how much she loved his hot tub. He responded three days later that he wasn't aware he owned a hot tub.
I'm sorry for not being sorry about whatever shit I did to you when you were annoying and I was drunk. That is all.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Why do i feel like Captain Hook just gave me a pap smear?
If you make 120 dollars and I walk instd of drive and don't eat or smoke this week we can pay rent
I have come to the conclusion that my perfect boyfriend is a cardboard cutout of Link with a dildo attatched. Also, Merry Christmas.
I'm cool with a hey old buddy how have you been want to fuck me in the butt kind of thing
I was hammered helping a pregnant woman at the gas station name her unborn child. We had to try everything with two different last names because she was waiting on the results of her paternity test.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This electrician is just ripping my house apart and I'm too hungover to ask questions
All I know is I was bleeding, she was bleeding, we stole someone's Lucky Charms, and then I made you guys order a pizza
I just sugar scrubbed my vagina. If I don't get laid tonight, me and the universe are gonna have some problems.
He does have a nice smile. I also like to think he has a nice penis, but that's just a prediction.
We were having sex and he started doing some weird swivel move. I was like wtf and he said sorry just trying to pop my knee.
Just flash them and yell "JUDGE THESE BITCHES"
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