I really think my calling is to star in a Live Links commercial
I just Googled "how to lose weight but still be an alcoholic."
every time i get drunk at her place i end up leaving with nothing but an empty box of toaster strudels..
so as we were driving to pick up my grandma from old navy she procedes to yell into our open window.. "I'll make ya holla fo a dolla" umm...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he would probably call me "ma'am" when he's inside me. people love saying weird shit inside me.
Some guy just watched me feed 30 dimes and 3 quarters for bread and cheese at the self checkout at walmart. I no longer comprehend shame...
I accidentally screamed the wrong name last night. He stopped for a second, said "fuck it, you're too hot to care," and then continued fucking me.
when we went to bed he asked me to hold his penis so he knew i was there for him
He was having a "party in the princess castle." At what point do I blindfold him and take him to AA?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I blew him while he was standing up and he drooled on my head
Last time I was your wingman I had to deal with a girl whose only interest in my body was to clip my toenails. I'm not interested.
But no. So do not give him one damn penny. Unless they are in a sock and you are hitting him with it.
He's just been a dick since he set his face on fire. I just wanted to eat a fucking hot dog.
Just saw a fat guy on a flower print moped. He's my hero.
I'm drunkenly throwing popcorn at a spider, fuck him. Why does his scary 8 legs get to be happy?
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