There were 3 chicks in my bed I didn't know when I got home. Now I know all of them. Biblically.
Everytime I think about NYE, my gag reflex kicks in.
i went to a real vip club. the bathroom attendant was wiping down counters after girls wearing gucci did lines of coke on them. where did MY life go wrong
She said, and I quote "how do you run with something that big between your legs".
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Also, the wait staff kept prematurely clearing my Manhattans. Not sure if it was an oversight or a hint.
she's living proof man. somebody has literally pissed in the gene pool
I just really need to get the matching flask to go with my pill box. Is this another step towards rock bottom?
I cNt phones. tingles in my fingles. jingles
You are so predictable. I am willing to bet 20$ that instead of going out you are sitting on your couch, stoned, watching Seinfield re-runs and eating cheezits.
1. they're goldfish. 2 fuck you
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just got a girl to make out with me just by saying "get at me." Get at me
I know I come to this conclusion on a fairly regular basis but I really do need a babysitter
he's a ginger AND was born with 2 holes in his penis. sleeping with a rare species & I LOVE THE THRILL
i have nothing going on in my life. unless a toxic love triangle with netflix and jack daniels counts.
Its a good night when you get to makeout with a cowboy
it was weird going down on him. His picture of Jesus was staring at me the entire time...
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