how do i tell her that i need alcohol to fuck her but at the same time i cant get a hard on with alcohol.
So the "just a friend" kid confessed his love for me...sometimes I hate how awesome I am.
I just pulled a handful of rice out of my pocket.
I'd be a gr8 surrogate. I'm gonna love your fetus
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The intern claims someone glued plastic eyeballs to his penis last night. He going to show everyone in the conference room at 3pm. There is a $5 cover charge.
You should make it a point to use vocabulary that is competition appropriate around him, like "champion" and "training" and "victory sex"
Would you still love me if my nipple fell off?
If only I could bank my drunk hookups for a sober IOU.
There were containers of weed in the piñata. How much more Colorado does it get
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Science requires me to take a picture of your nipples.
Is it disrespectful or patriotic to pole dance on an american flag pole?
I woke up an hour ago with orange fingers and a condom stuck to my head.. Wtf just happened?
just took a pregnancy test before I went out drinking. if that's not drinking responsibly Idk what is.
You said you made a new recipe, but it turned out you just cooked ramen with vodka instead of water.
Never thought I’d use my computer science degree for teledildonics, but here I am
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