Is it a bad thing I remember to take my birth control when I stumble across guys I've had sex with on facebook?
Remember that amazing deer? You peed next to that dear..
I mean what are real friends for if they won't hold down your wedding dress to allow for a keg stand
He got violent drunk so we have to untie him in the morning. He's in your basement and you're out of electrical tape. Don't forget because I will.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Well despite the fact that I'm still not entirely sure this isn't an elaborate/cunning plan to kill me, I'm in.
Guess who figured out you can fit an entire bottle of champagne in a big Subway cup. Open container laws my ass.
Welcome to drink and talk like a Russian afternoon.
Pirate drinking day will be planned for shortly
I approve this so hard.
I draw, I play three woodwind instruments, I press buttons for eight hours at work and Im studying to be a gynecologist... I guarantee I can make you squirt, babe.
I might have snap chatted him. So here's what I need you to do. Find him. Abduct him. Get his phone. View the chat so he can't. Then, buy him ice cream. He deserves ice cream.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Gonna be hard to top last New Year's Eve when the guy I blew came at midnight
There's tequila in my general area. Please pray for me.
All I want is some guy to eat me out while I work on grad school things then go on his way
Don’t fucking talk to that dude from monday!! Ethical consumption dude, don’t fuck shitty guys
You sat down in the middle of the road and started crying. We told you "Get your ass up or we're leaving you here." You replied "They'll findddd meeeeee" and ran after us.
Fuck twitter. Fuck men. Fuck bras. Fuck flip flops. Fuck makeup. Fuck perfume.
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