I always wonder when I meet a guy from online if he needs a moment to mentally register and accept the size of my ass. maybe ill wear a dress.
dude i just made a burrito by wrapping 2 packs of scooby snacks with a fruit roll up. im so high
You'll be the guy with the raft that sells burritos on the river. You'd be legendary.
Do you remember that blonde girl he brought home from the bar on Friday night? She didn't leave until Monday afternoon. We didn't even know she was still in his room...what a sketchy weekend.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
this is the second time this week i got a blowjob from a crying girl.
It's only 11:30 and she's already making friends with the homeless...
you looked at me, pointed to a car and silently said "the elephant parks here".
He actually has his life put together though, during the date we walked by a shoppers drugmart where my friend and I once flashed a janitor and all I could wonder was how does he not see shit show written all over me?
Eating a grilled cheese at a strip club... good idea??
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Haha it's harder than you'd think to come up with ways to turn your penis into a Christmas drawing
You woke up butt naked, peed yourself said something about jumbo shrimp, and passed back out 10 seconds ltr..
That moment when I wear the same thing I did to a motel nooner to my family's Christmas party... Ho Hoety Ho bitches
I'm shopping for Mother's Day cards while waiting for my herpes medication. What is life.
I would date him. For 1 month. Just so I could say I was a trap queen for 1 month.
I want to create a human. Discussion later.
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