My superpower would be to be able to make a chick instantly start her period just by thinking about it
So, apparently, "i expected your penis to be bigger" isn't good pillow talk.
Somebody spraypainted a transformers head on a transformer box..my life is complete
i just remember pinky promising you guys to take care of him.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I broke stuart's oven and showed up to the party with a squirrel.
Finally washing the shoe scuff marks off my front windshield :( bye bye memories
She tried to beat the waitress over the head with a bread stick because one of her martini olives was missing a pimento. All while screaming "IT'S GAMEDAY BITCH"
Olive Garden will never be the same.
I guess crabs is what I get for sleeping with my ex.
I swear man, you fly across the country to give a boy your virginity and he suddenly thinks you like him
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I told him he could fuck me in his Notre Dame jersey if they won and he never texted back. What is this world coming to
I'm slowly getting to where I don't hate people anymore.
Never mind. Some random dude just walked past me and asked if I was having fun. I snarled at him. I might still kinda hate people.
i feel like ive seen the light, but not in the nasty christian way. thats gross. say no to jesus, kids
I'm so glad you haven't fallen off any more yachts
sometimes you just gotta rip off the nipple tape and get it done.
I am so so sorry I bit your butt last night. Twice.
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