Do you have a shampoo for semen
Or a time machine
we put the last xanax in the middle and played hungry hungry hippos to see whod get it
fair is fair
It's like, I'm the official vagina for that DJ group
All I've consumed over the last couple days is Vanilla Coke, semen, and Coors. I don't think today will be any different.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just tried to puke while my RA was trying to puke in the stall next to me.bonded for life
guy just got out of the car at the drive in and told his girlfriend "fuck you and your taco" and walked off
He showed up drunk to my cousions HS grad party, we stayed at the bars till 2, then he got up at 5 to run a half marathon and by the time I woke up wlhe was already back and drinking.
Eating a muffin with a knife and fork. Hangovers have hit a new low.
You know whats not fun? Making yourself throw up on a sand dune at 4 in the morning.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Her four year old daughter walked up to me grabbed my junk and said "this will be in mommy later." Wtf?
I don't think I'm ever gonna need a boyfriend again. I have a body pillow, a vibrator, and I'm strong enough to open my own jars.
HE MIGHT HAVE YOUR BUTTHOLE, BUT HE CANT HAVE YOUR HEART. THATS MINE.
Come on, what straight woman, gay man, or bi person HASN'T scrolled through Justin Trudeau pictures after a bad day?
I’m not dating him for his personality. I’m dating him so I can steal his dog.
Is she still on a quest to lick every stranger that enters the bar, or have the restraining orders reached critical mass?
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