he just said he was sorry he wasnt been able to come by more often coz things are really crazy with that girl
you mean his girlfriend
your all-time low pick up line was when you asked a girl "Are you rock-staring at me?"
I think I just sat on my labia. Can I borrow some scotch tape?
this weekend will be like the season finale to my life
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You were hopping up and down because you wanted only his strongest sperms to make it to the egg.
Darwin at his finest.
you'll be glad to know I got kicked off the microphone at a bar in Breckenridge last night thanks to my country rendition of all star
I just found her phone in the quesadilla maker...
We are not turning the camelbak into a beer bong
He's upstairs shouting 'FUCK OFF I'M IN MY MOTHERFUCKING ZEN ZONE' out of the window.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
and somewhere between crying in her arms and throwing up in her front yard, we became friends.
Our relationship is representative of a cognitive bias that leads to bad decision making and misplacement of resources. So should we pick up some whiskey tomorrow?
Well pulled into the driveway, and there she was. Kinda like a Vegas version of the mint on a pillow
Sexting is killing my work productivity but it's okay because I'm self-employed
You're just upset because I have cupcakes and boobs and you don't.
Grandpa just whipped it out and started pissing on the way to the game stuck in traffic. I saw EVERYTHING. :(
Randomize