no, I didn't make it. Instead, i watched VH1 for... 13 hours? I use the question mark because I was using Flavor Flav's clocks to tell time after the first 3 hours.
well it doesn't count as a walk of shame if he drops you off at your class in his golf cart
My fight-or-flight response is really more fight-or-fuck
Most awkward car ride ever. Kid in the front seat was bawling, 2 in the backseat were ready to fight, and I was giving the last kid a handie. This needs to stop happening to us.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just in case you were wondering..... I really did just wave goodbye to you with my penis.
she was trying to use her iTranslate app while we were having sex.
I left my bra and a book at his place. He's a hot Scandinavian who is into physics and computers - had to step up my game.
GETTING HORNY AT RANDOM IS REALLY FUCKING INCONSIDERATE.
I don't know how that blunt survived being in your pocket all night but you pulled it out at 4 am in 7/11 and tried to fire it up. Zero fucks given
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I had sex while you were puking this morning and I'm sorry. Kind of.
It's ok. I had sex while you were drunk crying last night. We're even.
My booty call made my bed while I was in the shower. I may have to marry him.
It's 7am. I'm making pizza & watching the Matrix. I will not be bothered.
To answer your next question, yes, I'm drunk.
You thought her boot was a stray dog in your house..
It was all going good until I realized she was wearing underwear with a butt flap. Mission aborted.
Looks like the opera singer hook up is paying off. Ran into the MILF from 407 and she said “your lady friend sounded like a very lucky girl.”
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