He yelled GOOOOAAAALLL when he came.
I just dry heaved the smell of jagerbombs....which proceeded to make me hurl for real.
i have no idea who im with but someones making meatballs. im going to stay.
the cop asked for your social security number and you gave her your high school locker combo
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margarita wednesday is really going to dip into new year's eve thursday
Tiger Woods should have just walked in, gave everyone a high five, and left.
In debating whether or not it's worth getting out of bed and walking 5 feet down the hallway to go to the bathroom before I puke
I just don't see what's wrong with carrying a water bottle around.
It's not the bottle. It's the fact that you're drinking wine out of a sport bottle at 9 am.
Well regardless of which drugs we choose to do tonight until four in the morning, we are having a wii bowling championship. So choose carefully.
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I tried to get you something for Valentine's Day too but they said they couldn't deliver skittles and ecstasy :(
Here's the thing, you got road head in two different cars tonight. You feel lucky yet?
Are you doing trivia tonite? Also sorry I peed on you.
No, dude...I agree it's great in theory but I promise you that 80 drunk 21 year old sorority girls together in one room for formal is one of the worst drama filled ideas ever. Ever.
Thank you. I woke up with a beard hair in my mouth. Super classy.
I'm pretty sure i doubled the number of dicks I've ever touched, last night.
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