From behind she looks like Richard Simmons
I imagine the nuva ring like a bug zapper. It just kills them all.
I mean, I'd wanted to go skinny dipping, hook up with him and have sex on a beach, so last night I basically killed 3 birds with one super slutty stone.
he came within less than a minute of me blowing him. this was our second night hanging out in a row. for an almost 30 year old italian man, he is NOT living up to his country's reputation
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You were laying in bed whispering and crying to the half eaten burrito saying "why am I shitting so much" and "what did I do to deserve this"
I'm pretty sure we scarred one of our coworkers. This is the second time he has caught us both fully undressed and banging at work.
Either he has bad timing or he wants to join.
I'm the only one who goes to a bar and leaves with an extra twenty bucks and a pumpkin.
The 12 year old son winked and made eyes at me while his father fed me vodka gummy bears. Gameday yo
Nothing worse then being at the gym on the elliptical next to a guy looking at porn on his phone
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I saw a kitty kat get finger blasted on the couch by a Bulls player
She has also never texted me first which I think might be a tell-tale sign she wants me to die alone.
Why the HOLY HELL is my dog on my roof??? Sam?? Why is the dog wearing my pants
FOUND MY PANTIES COMINY JOME
We made out in front of everyone INCLUDING his girlfriend. And no one saw. THAT DRUNK!
I don't know if I'm having early flu symptoms, a miscarriage, or am badly hungover. Web md agrees.
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