i just shit an entire soup salad and breadsticks from the olive garden... bud light wins again.
I least I know I can't get pregnant because it's on my hair
bought some hannah montana deodorant. hope it doesnt make me smell untalented
She actually pushed her roomie out of the way and said 'You already fucked him it's my turn!'
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
What do you think french fries on pizza would taste like?
i already know. Delicious. Use ranch.
As I type I'm climbing my cousins swingset so I can take a nap inside the slide. Fuck this hangover. I always win.
My head feels like a nest made of hair and cum
Don't pretend you don't want to dance on the edge of overdose all three nights
I fell in the river last night. The allegheny to be exact. Omg getting drunk at work gatherings is dangerous
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Seriously I'm dying. All my insides are fighting their way out of me. With light sabers and machetes.
It's like you know you got fucjed up when you wake up and check fir your own pulse
It wouldn't be New Years Eve if we knew where we would be at midnight
The girl in the hotel room next to us walked out at the same time as me this morning. She just shook her head, looked at me and said, "faker." Is it that easy to tell?!??
Not sure she's stomping around my apartment muttering incoherently about wanting to speak to the colonel
All I could think about was how many vaginas had been on the toliet that I was pukin in
Randomize