Can you get arrested or in trouble for punching a dead relative in a casket?
My niece just called my sister in law a teabagger. I love NPR and it's corrupting influence on small children
All you have to drink is moonshine and ranch. This is bullshit.
I am too drunk to deal with your everything. Reread this everytime you feel the need to talk to me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I give you full permission to seriously injure me the next time I think it's a good idea to face a bottle of vodka
Well anyways I still cant believe I don't remember such a monumental day in history as you showing me your boobs... Jesus
Like what did he say to his host family? The girl I causally sleep with on the weekends is coming over?! And they thought "well lets feed her dinner"
I fell asleep in the tanning bed, naked, for an hour and a half and I guess they couldn't wake me up so they called the fire department...and they came in while I was passed out naked...
I haven't been dieting for my entire life to date some guy who thinks his dad bod is a riot.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
we've never stayed at a party for more than an hour. we always end up at a pizzaria. by ourselves. with no friends.
what else are best friends for?
He walked upstairs in nothing but his boxers and drunkenly asked my brother for a condom....so much for a good first impression.
My ultimate hope is that people will hug me, smell me, and therefore think I'm classy.
we should get together and get drunk.
On a Monday?
don't discriminate against mondays.
He showed his fake to the cop and was like "does the coloring look off to you?"
I think she lost me at about the point where the words “Ice Cream Enema” were spoken.
Randomize