you know what i hate about salt? you can't see it.
TXT her NOW! The phone is actually IN her Va-Jay-Jay!!
I just opened up the mens room door to a dude pissing in the urinal and pointing at himself in the mirror
He asked if I wanted a dutch rudder. 1.) Who says that? 2.) How exactly does one do that with a girl?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She said, "I don't really go out much, but my husband recently cheated on me" and I don't remember anything after that.
Yeah that's one way to look at it on the other hand MY FUCKING BED CAUGHT ON FUCKING FIRE
dude there's no way we're going back in there for your puke shoes
we spent fifteen minutes trying to convince you that you weren't locked inside of your car
He counted every piece of macaroni in the box and then faceplanted into the bowl
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Vague recollection of me ripping your shirt off at the bar... I hope I asked first, otherwise that's real rude.
It wasn't so much skinny dipping. It more like skinny walking...through a fountain.
You know when you meet a penis that looks like it was made out of all your hopes and dreams?
Did you have ill-advised lesbian sex on the deathbed of their relationship?
Of course. Go big or go home.
You're my fucking queen.
Dude my toilet did not deserve what I just did to it
Just bought shot glasses from the thrift store. I think the guy buying a winter coat was even judging me.
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