I think I just got seasick
you're not on a boat
he has a waterbed.
Confirm your location. A cross street is best, but if google mapping yourself is your least-shameful option go for it. ps- going through his mail for an actual address is always an option.
loyola was giving a tour this morning and they all saw me in a half ripped off toga throwing up over the side of the dorm stairs
you don't even go to loyola anymore
We had to use the stains on Phil's shirt to try to piece together what happened last night.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The lack of pants and amount of productivity in my life right now is amazing.
I have to talk to myself and be all "you are NOT horny tonight"
is there a way to sugar-coat "shes in jail" when someone is texting me asking where their friend is?
Someone younger than me just got married. Send help and vodka
That's what I love about being a lesbian. My roommate's boyfriend watched her finger me and then he made me pancakes in the morning. AND THEN HE LEFT.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Id prob hit it, but i instagram edited her picture to make her look better. Ha. She should fuck me just for that.
Rumor has it that you want to bring me soup in exchange for a blow job.
Its my nipple ring piercing anniversary. We need to celebrate.
well apparently i sat in the bathroom staring in the toliet at my vomit. it was blue. how was your night?
I really would enjoy sexual intercourse with you.
Most formal booty call EVER
So I lost my dignity between the strip club and your penis...
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