I just ate a whole pineapple for lunch. You should be begging to give me a bj tonight.
No one figured out why I brought along the vibrating massager.
I need a picture of your dick for my friends birthday card
I found him with a guitar and his kitten in his room. He was singing a song he'd titled "you're a cat". Guess what most of the lyrics were...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You can drink as much as you want but it's not gunna make her forehead any smaller
I was hoping it might at least fix her teeth
...i'd have to set their sheets on fire.
He recognized me by my ass from about 15 yards away. I must have a REALLY nice ass.
Who knows. I'd probably only get a makeout with an OTPHJ from her so the return on sexual investment from her isn't looking that great.
It would seem she's painting a bullseye right in between her legs
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I mean, I would have, but I couldn't come up with a logical reason to bring up oral sex during an orientation.
OK... But I need to shower first because I'm covered in stuff I definitely shouldn't have slept in
he was peeing off the deck shouting "urinals are for pussies" that's how much hurricane.
She gave me a collar. When I asked what this was for she replied "I'm taming your dick"
Woke up to find that I was cock blocked by no more than three people.
my personal favorite... An "I'm sorry you broke your finger and cant play sports for awhile" blowjob!
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