Sometimes when I whip my dick out it looks REAL impressive. This, was NOT one of those times.
We stuck the straw in the bourbon as a joke, you saw it as a challenge.
Drunkasaurus has found a new cave to eat all the children she captured
I need to get you away from Bacardi 151 and out from under the bed
Well, I'm getting my ex-boyfriend to get me a z pack to cure the chlamydia I got from my married fuck buddy so that I can fuck one of my students.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
That is true. Vodka is like a dog. Always loyal, warm, and there for you when you need it
Bring gay.
By that I meant the rum. I just realized that my request made no sense. You always bring gay.
I have to shower first, I forgot I peed on my feet last night...
You're too morally constrained. I firmly believe that you should be less concerned with how young she is and more excited by the fact that she's not jailbait by virtue of a legal technicality.
But you can't tell me I give the best blow jobs and then not break up with your girlfriend who has fucking TMJ! Come on!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Some guys phone started vibrating on the tv. I answered mine. That's how high I am.
I'm in Home Depot and I can feel the straight bob the builders staring at me. I bet it's like I have a rainbow arrow pointing at me.
he told me that he only likes small dogs. I should have known he was going to end up being little bitch.
It was a good dick. I give credit where credit is due. A good dick deserves praise.
Parade of Dicks...that's what I'm calling 2017
Man, I'm never going tanning again he noticed the burns on my ass
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