I think I died a long time ago.
Wasted at the beach. Toasting underage, overdeveloped girls. God bless 'em.
Something growled at me in your dark backyard last nt. Hoping it was my landwalking laser sharks and not Andy.
we should wear snuggies to the strip club
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she definitely blew him on the riverbank, some lady floated past and said "have some pride honey", amazingly awkward
Just crossed the line from casual pregrame to public intoxication. Shotgunning in a bus shelter.
I don't know what I should tell you tell you. I don't want to encourage you to dye my dog.
I woke up in her bed, she woke up in mine. Apparently there was a miscommunication after the 8th jager bomb.
I'm a busy girl. All I wanted was noncommittal sex a few times a week
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For the record, it's NEVER ok to discuss my stripper-related injuries with my fiance.
I just ran into the woods like an idiot because ADVENTURE.
Did we do anything stupid last night besides hook up with our ex girlfriends?
I have no inclination to even want to think about what God's existential meltdown is going to be like. O.o
Just discovered I was so fucked up last night I called in sick to work... TWICE
So being hungover in an office full of people with hangovers for 9 hours is quite possibly what hell will be like.
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