Did your girl go home? Did she have fun? Can we have our friend back?
woke up to moans and hushed"we can't do this with him in here." hope they had a good time
oh fat girl friday strikes again...
I had fun last night. We should have sex less often.
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It was fun until I shot a pea out of my nose while throwing up. Left over tuna casarole at 3Am was a terrible choice.
I've broken several federal laws in the name of sex.
Your never gonna wash that desperation outta that sweatshirt you know.
on the subway to an interview & there's a dude doing whippits out of a cheese wil can
OMG HIS EYES ARE POOLS OF SEX. HOT SEX.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The Winnie the Pooh costume was great until you got drunk and started yelling at the kids asking for pictures.
I am seriously thinking about wearing a blanket as a cape. So when I pass out tonight the blanket might keep me warm.
I've been watching porn with my cat lately. No shame
Don't let me pee the bed... Its going to be one of those weekends
I don't think he knows you can have sex sober...
A guy in a chewbacca suit just came up to me and asked me to buy him weed.
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