Do u think I can claim pregnancy as an accident so my insurance covers it?
He lasted like 30 seconds. With a condom. I just expected more from the president of a frat.
just witnessed some guy trade his friend $5 and a condom for his keys.
Due to our sore throats we are now doing bong hits with cranberry juice to sooth it.
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You just kept yelling, "THAT'S THE POWER OF PINESOL, BABY!"
Could be my worst decision since the whole 'third degree burn' fiasco.
Well, love is in the air. And by that I mean: it seriously smells like sex in here.
I used the picture of my mom and I doing blow job shots in Vegas in the presentation for my Spanish final. Graduation here I come.
Did you ask me to bring you a t-shirt to class or did I just dream that?
No, I did. It's a long story.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She twisted her ankle and paid a homeless guy for a piggy back ride home from the bar.
Yours weakened by children. Mine weakened by a forearm sized cock for 8 years.
For the record we tried to find 4th of july porn. Did not turn out well.
Sorry for the milk in the bathroom. I was washing mace out of the one security guys eyes
There's a 50-50 shot that I will wake up with an ass tattoo tomorrow.
I just took like 30 condoms from the doctors office... no one can say I don't try to save my money.
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