Um, I don't know who U MEANT to send that to, but yes I WAS going to fuck you. Instead you can go play Halo with ur friends.
so the sex was amazing up until the point where she said "wow, you're even better than your dad!"
I should have kept drinking, a coma can't be as bad as this hangover
having to delete all your hookups stored in your phone as first name followed by frat/bar after they've graduated is such a bittersweet feeling
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you convinced the bartender to un-cut you off by letting him touch your boobs whenever you ordered a drink.
If she wants to think that freshman 15 means sleeping with 15 guys than so be it I just gotta make sure I'm one of them.
So when you said you wanted to make a clay replica of my boobs and hang it above your bed you actually meant it?
It's only 11:30 and she's already making friends with the homeless...
Just whatever you do please don't lick his face again.
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I blacked out after running into my soc TA in the beer garden. came to dancing on the speakers at major lazer and making out with said TA.
Pizza delivery...for when you need to eat your feelings for the sex you aren't having
no dude free pina colada`s taste like what I would expect my penis to taste like except gay-er.
Your stoned with a 2 year old in the room....and that makes you want to have babies?!
We kinda got asked to leave the strip club and on the way out, you fell again. When you finally got up we got a standing ovation from the girls behind the bar and you took a bow. It was awesome.
How was the tequila? Are you making bad decisions yet?
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