The shirt is mine, the pants are mine, the bra not so much
Going to Kmart high is like jumping in a time machine back to the 80s
i called my brother from the living room and paid him a dollar to turn off the light in my room. ive hit rock bottom
woke up with ski boots on and a kayak in my room... birthday successful? i'd say so
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
All i remember was he was wearing billibong pants... well actually my mom found that out for me.
we were totes just talking about. huu in the bathbub. 5 girlszzz
I can't answer my phone I'm at work
I slept with a male stripper last night. Priorities
Rick two cubicles down puked and that triggered three others puking into their trash cans as well. The janitorial staff hates it when we go drinking on a work night.
You know you're a heffer when you discover chocolate frosting on your smoking apparatus
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Your drunk naked friend is roaming the living room. Started roaming my room. Please come retrieve him
He smells like ham and a lifetime of poor choices
It's scary that my vibrator is a dangerous weapon. I want a new one.
Anne is dead. totally passed out and was flat out in the street
i couldn't be more explicit if i hit him upside the head with a dildo
At some point you said you just wanted to get laid, so we had a moment of silence for your dead sex life...
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