i was just lookin through my fb pics and i think im with a cat in like 40% of them..: how sad is my life
You know, if there were no such thing as marriage, i don't think porn would exist.
he was like "finding out that arrested development was cancelled" bad
Ok so the guy below me is either having sex very loudly or is very lonely
corn on the cob and anal lube are not substitutes for the real thing
The meeting is at the same hotel we go to for sex. Avoiding eye contact with all the staff there.
i'm about to rub a glazed donut on my face just so it feels like you're here
In a cab. Towels everywhere. Confused.
The venue for the new years party is close to the hospital for obvious reasons.
Step one go to argentina step two fuck bitches it's a simple plan really
You made me take a photo of you under the stairs at the bar. "Look I'm Harry Potter."
how much do I hate his dog? was just googling to see if you can rent a hungry eagle for the weekend hate.
It stopped being casual for me when I waxed my vagina for you
If you don't sing 'dust in the wind' at my funeral, I'll haunt you forever
Anne is dead. totally passed out and was flat out in the street
Randomize
