You should have seen k-money last night. She was just hanging on to the toilet for half the night. By her fourth trip to puke, she started talking to it and was doing the voices for her and it. She kept saying "...we thank you for your continued business..." haha
I've realized that you're the only friend i can rely on to drink with me any given day. i thank you for that.
The party theme was heirs and heiress's. Most guys came in polo shirts but he came as the "arch duke of vagina".
I know. I almost started crying. IN WHAT UNIVERSE IS THAT A TURN ON?!
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Driving a mountain pass in the middle of a blizzard with the worst vodka gummybear hangover ever is gods way of telling me to keep the black-outing within a 15 mile radius to my house.
I could study for finals and ace all my tests but wheres the fun in that? id rather black out and hope for the best
Flaming shots last night. Missing an eye brow. There a connection?
I reek of latex and grilled onions.
Mission accomplished.
Going back to the ever classy sneak out to the fridge and swig liquor from the bottle method. That it is legal for me to drink here makes the fact that I have to do this all the more depressing.
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I'm prostituting myself for tickets to Disney World. There's a contradiction there.
I tried to put my heels in the coat check
I've never had sex that lasts this long though. It's ridiculous. I feel like I need a Gatorade and a sweatband and a sub.
Are u alive? If u are, you deserve an award.
A dozen fresh-baked cookies delivered to my dorm AND I don't have chlamydia or gonorrhea... Could this night get any better??
Just had an emotional break through with the dog. That high.
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